Research shows that only a fraction of your message is communicated by our words. Everything you say is being interpreted through the filter of the listener. He or she is also reacting to your inflection and your body language. He is probably ascribing meaning to your words that might be different from what you intended. Inflection has several parts: ENERGY -- Your attitude and enthusiasm come across through the amount of energy in your voice. RATE OF SPEECH -- About 125 words a minute is a normal rate of speech. Listeners can have difficulty understanding you if you speak faster than this. PITCH - Pitch might be low, high or monotone. The best thing to do is to vary your tone during the course of a conversation or within sentences. Body language also has several main features: EYES - You should make eye contact, but not stare at your listener. Darting eyes or lack of eye contact can be interpreted as lying or as disinterest. HANDS - If you use your hands when you speak, consider how the movements either emphasize what you are saying or detract from it. Strong, emphatic motions can be interpreted as negative or as confident, depending on the situation. TAPPING - Have you ever seen someone who was constantly shaking a foot, tapping something, or jiggling a knee? It's a nervous habit, but can be interpreted as uncertainty, fear, or indecision by the listener. POSTURE - Sitting straight and facing the listener or at a slight angle to her is the best way to send a message of forthright sincerity. Slumping or turning away from the listener sends a message of apathy or hostility. Keeping your arms loose and not crossed can help to convey that you are open and relaxed. The bottom line is to be aware that your words are not your only message. Take time to check in with your listener and make sure your message is being heard. Ask him to repeat back to you what he thinks you are saying if you're still not sure. Communication is a two-way street. Look both ways!